I watched coverage from San Bernardino all day yesterday. Passively, and while caring for a 1-year-old, but still...I have no excuse. I watched it. When my husband came home from work and started asking me for details, here’s a summary of what I had to share: There was another shooting. In California, maybe somewhere by LA? I think it was at a mental hospital? And I wasn’t sure if they had caught the guy yet.
There was a time when a story like this would have stopped me dead in my tracks and had me glued to the TV. But not anymore. Now I kind of halfway-pay-attention. I’m desensitized, numbed, even hardened, maybe? (Call it what you want…) to mass shootings, bombings, and what have you. In fact, I think a real thought that passed through my mind yesterday was, “Oh. Only like 14 people died.” Yep. ONLY 14 lives lost. ONLY 14 families torn apart. Small potatoes. Better check my heart, huh?
I’m not proud of this reaction. In truth, it DOES make me sad, frightened, and shocked. But I’m really not surprised. And I suppose that’s what living and growing up in a culture where this is the norm will do to you. I was a 2nd grader when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. A 6th grader when the Columbine shooting took place. A sophomore when 9/11 occurred. So it’s pretty hard for me to remember life without mass, senseless terror in public places. (If it ever existed, I guess.) It used to scare me more, but now...as the BBC reporter quipped, “Just another day in America.”
This isn’t to make light of the terrible tragedy that occurred yesterday. Or any of the terrible tragedies that have occurred at the hands of seriously hurting people who have committed these horrible crimes. It’s just to show that the numbness to the hurt that’s going on in our culture today has invaded my heart. That apathy could be the biggest obstacle to any remedy we could ever hope for.
So I join the chorus of voices saying that we--or at least I, obviously--have to wake up. We have to get to the root of the problem and turn this runaway train around. We all have a voice and a role to play. But where do we start, right?
The first step in making any change is identifying the issue, which many good people of varying political stripes try to do. We try to place the “whys” on many likely culprits: mental health services (or lack thereof), video games and movies and the media in general, gun laws...all of which probably have some merit, but all of which cause deep divides and controversy. And so, we spend our precious time arguing about the next step instead of taking the next step.
Before I go any further, this isn’t meant to be a commentary on any of those particular issues. Frankly, I don’t have a single answer when it comes to decisions about policies regarding any of the “traditional scapegoats.” Doesn’t seem like anyone really does, for sure. We’ve made these issues so black and white (or red and blue, rather) that it’s hard to have any real conversations about them. Which sucks, big time. But we’re America and that’s “how we do.” Personally, I have considered a lot of viewpoints on gun control and mental health services and video game ratings and the only solid opinion I can come up with that I know I hold is this: All of these issues that we’re spending our time arguing about are probably much too small to capture our attention like they have, because none of them will really have the wide-scale, long-term impact or intervention that we need. As a society, we have to (for once) think bigger.
I believe that policy changes on several fronts are probably inevitable, regardless of anyone’s opinions on them. Maybe that’s what we need, maybe it isn’t--I can't say for sure. But I can say this--in all of the discussion surrounding this latest tragedy and what our country's reaction will be, I can’t keep my thoughts from returning to this wise gem from one of my main dudes, G.K. Chesterton: “When you break the big laws, you do not get liberty; you do not even get anarchy. You get small laws.” And I strongly believe that “small laws” of any kind are a band-aid solution for a much larger, more serious problem. In this case, there’s absolutely no denying it anymore.
I’m not saying that “small laws” are universally unnecessary. We have many and need many to keep our society civil, because, well, sin and brokenness. What I'm saying is that I think the real issue has nothing to do with “small laws,” or policies, and everything to do with the fact that our culture has turned away from the “big laws” for a long time now. We’ve done so in the name of greater freedom, but we haven’t found more freedom. All we’ve found is a greater need for “small laws” as a last ditch effort to keep people safe.
The truth is that only when we rededicate ourselves to the “big laws” on an individual and collective basis will we see the solutions we’re all hoping for.
The “big laws” are the natural ones--the ones that are written on our hearts and in our bodies--the ones that no man can make--the ones that were created when nature itself was created.
We’ve been laughing natural law in the face and turning up our nose at it for quite a while now, haven’t we? Or at least picking and choosing which parts of it we like and which parts of it we don't--following what we fancy and disregarding or explaining away the other less comfortable stuff. All in the name of greater personal freedom because “I should be able to do what I want, when I want, and nobody should be able to tell me no! And anyone or anything who tries to hates me/doesn’t love me/is a bigot/is a whacked out right-wing religious freak living in the past who just wants me to feel guilty like they do!” Right? But see, what starts to happen when we ignore natural law like we have is that people of all kinds--with all different backgrounds, intentions, and sins (and don’t be fooled, we’ve all got sins…)--start living like they don’t need to submit to any authority and then go about hurting others. And THEN we get our collective panties in a twist. And rightfully so. But maybe we should try a different approach for once and start with prevention instead of treatment.
The unintended consequences of ignoring natural law claim millions upon millions of lives every day. Not always physically (although, sadly, oftentimes physically), but emotionally and spiritually too. That’s the real issue.
What unintended consequences am I talking about? Particular attention could be paid the wounds that fatherlessness has caused in our culture. For too long, men have been told that it’s ok to opt out of the family life realm (or they’ve been pushed out by women who, for too long, have been told that the worst thing in the world to need is a man.) Personal sacrifice for the good of others (aka: real love) is seen as bondage instead of the path that leads to freedom. Materialism, too, has caused deep wounds in our families and in the way we have cared for the poor. Even our culture’s attitude toward children--seeing them as commodities to be had when we want them (or eliminated/prevented when we don’t want them) instead of gifts who are made to be loved and cherished, not just to fulfill our unmet needs or desires--can take part of the blame. Folks, we’d be missing the point completely if we didn’t make a connection between this cesspool of hurt in our culture and the tragedy at San Bernardino. Or the one at Sandy Hook. Or Columbine. The spiritual poverty and “abdication of responsibility” (that phrase is stolen from the one and only Matthew Kelly) that have infested our culture play the largest role in the cause of these tragedies. It’s a much bigger problem than the current cultural narrative seems to be acknowledging.
Want to eradicate this problem at the source? Strengthen marriages, support families, take and teach responsibility, eliminate materialism, and instill in children what it means to love others and be loved. Make sacrifices. Love til it hurts.
Better yet, bring Jesus Christ to people. Don’t just “be nice” or “follow the golden rule” or “pay it forward this Christmas.” (Those are all good things to do, by the way.) But go deeper. Actually help people have a meaningful encounter with Jesus as a real person; who really loves them; with whom they can have a real, living relationship with; with whom they can fall in love so that the desire to emulate Him springs from that love and not from fear. So that the people of our culture can--FOR ONCE--start to see Christianity as a relationship with the person of Christ instead of just a set of rules to follow because “you think it will get you to Heaven.”
We need more people willing to look at the challenges, inconveniences, WORK!, and sacrifices inherent in creating and supporting good family life and say “Yes, I will serve,” instead of “No, I choose myself.” We need more people willing to lay down their lives (and desires and even needs, sometimes) for others instead of searching for freedom from the responsibility and real pain that loving well demands. Mother Teresa said that if you want to promote world peace, you should go home and love your family--particularly your spouse. We must do that better (I must do that better), but we can’t stop there.
The truth of the matter is there are a lot of people my parents’ age, my grandparents’ age, my age, and everywhere in between trying to do just that, and doing a damn fine job of it on a daily basis. Real cultural change is going to demand even more of us, but it’s what we’re all called to. We’re going to have to leave our homes with mercy and love to bring truth and justice to the spiritually and materially poor. We’re going to have to go out of our way to encounter people where they are--in all of their messiness and brokenness--without fear of sharing our own messiness and brokenness--and form real relationships that prevent people from feeling alone. Relationships that lovingly challenge people to take responsibility for their lives and make them better. It’s going to take time, energy, effort, discomfort, and most of all, prayer. But it’s something we can all do. And it’s something we all must do. We have a responsibility to God and to our fellow man to do what we can to change our world.
So go ahead advocate your favorite policy solutions all you want. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to do. I’ll probably even read your facebook posts while I try to figure out what I think about all of those things. But me? I can’t pass any laws. I don’t have the authority to impart my will on others via the legal system. (Nor do I really want such authority. Hah!) But I can love my family, and I can love my neighbor, and I can do my best to bring Christ into a culture who needs Him maybe more now than ever. I could spend time lobbying my congressmen and woman, but I think instead I'll focus on doing those simpler but harder things. Because the reality of the situation is that no law will get to the root of the problems we have. It’s only when we start caring for each others’ hearts that hearts will change, and it’s only changing hearts that will change our culture. We have a long way to go. I have a long way to go. Better wake up and get to work.
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