I'm Making My Own Dinner on Mother's Day

And I'm doing laundry too.  I bet I'm not the only Mom out there who isn't getting a big, relaxing break today either. That's the beauty of motherhood--those breaks aren't possible.

I'm making my own dinner on Mother's Day for one simple reason:  I love being a mom.  

I love preparing meals for the people God has put under my care.  I love doing their laundry.  I even love cleaning their house.  I don't do those things very well most of the time, but I love to do them, even when I hate to do them.

I love serving them because that's really the only way I know how to love them.  I love spending my days giving everything I have, everything I am to them.  

Not too long ago, I was a girl that made all my decisions based on what was best for me.  And why not?  The job God had assigned me was to take care of myself--not anyone else.  Sure, I cared about others.  I was a person who could be counted on to help and serve the people around me.  But at the end of the day, I wasn't responsible for the basic needs or the ongoing well-being of anyone except me.  It wasn't bad or sinful--it was just who I was called to be at that point in time.

Marriage, and then parenthood, came later.  There are days when I am sure that I've never done anything harder.  And I only have one little baby.  I'm sure harder days are to come.  

There are days when I am sure that I literally cannot change one more diaper.  But Annie's diaper needs to be changed.  So I change the diaper.  

There are days after a long night with a teething baby when the thought of packing up said baby and myself to go to the grocery store requires more effort than I want to give.  But we need food to put on the table.  So I go to the grocery store.  

There are nights when, at 10 pm, I exhaustedly realize that my husband has no clean work jeans for the morning because I forgot to put them in the washer earlier.  But Matt needs work jeans for tomorrow.  So I start a load of laundry and stay awake long enough to get it to the dryer.

There are days when I long to be footloose and fancy free--to spontaneously pack up my bags to go on an adventure.  But a certain little girl needs me to read to her and play with her and feed her and bathe her and answer her cries.  So I smile and remember that this every-day-simple living is the real adventure.  And I wouldn't trade this adventure for anything.  ANYTHING.

I love this me.  I love the woman I am becoming thanks to motherhood.  The old me didn't really have to do anything I didn't want to do.  Not at this level.  But now, I see a need in my daughter and realize that if I don't act--if I don't love (because love is action, not feeling)--no one else will.  And so I do what needs to be done because, well, love.

I love this me.

I don't do what I do every day perfectly.  In fact, I don't even do it well.  But I trust that God will continue to work the selfishness out of my heart through the adventure of caring for my troops.  He who has begun a good work in me will bring it to fulfillment, as He promised.  It hurts.  Sometimes I don't like it.  Sometimes I even HATE it.  But, I love it.  I ALWAYS love it.

To celebrate Mother's Day, I'm making dinner for my family.  Because serving these people is bringing new life to my selfish, prideful heart, and for that I am so grateful.  I love caring for them them, even when I hate it.  I'm making dinner because I can't think of anything I'd rather do to today thank God for giving me the gift of my family than to do what I love to do every other day--serve them.  Even when I don't want to.  

And, let's be real--if I cook, there just might be wine.